me and my fellow celebrities eating

February 18, 2010

I know what you’re thinking!  She’s not really a celebrity! I know her and she’s lying!  Well think again.  After eating hummus on a regular basis, I have lost over 50 pounds (probably more) do to this food.  That’s not entirely true.  I eat a lot of other healthy foods too, but when eating hummus you see, my mind tends to digress into the celebrity realm and not only do I lose weight, but I see beyond the chickpea and into the abyss of fame and depression. 

I recently learned that chickpeas, as well as other grains, can cause ergotism.  The symptoms of this disease are spasms and gangrene, weakness, headaches, and tingling sensations in different parts of the body.  Epilepsy may even occur. Mental symptoms are common as well as delirium.  While maybe I was lucky that the extreme parts of this illness did not happen to me, I like to think that some ergotism maybe why I think like a celebrity now.

Because only  when I worship the hummus do I go through the pain of messing up my psychotic brain with fame.  Believe me, it works!


Jennifer Garner

Jennifer is at least eating healthy, but hummus has a lot of protein and minerals that oranges don’t.

Amy Winehouse

Not very healthy Amy. I’m telling you, my hummus is waaaaaay healthier.

Kelly Clarkson


I like hot dogs too, but maybe with a little hummus instead of kethup or mustard. I think that’d make the meat go down easier.

See, these people made hummus their friend just like my celebrities should do


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