In the beginning, I was fat, psychotic, stupid, and immature.  I ate McDonald’s and ice cream to help make me strong, but all it did was fuel me to eat more of this necessary fuel.  To me, exercise was excellent, but food was just something I had to do to myself, so I ate it without knowledge. 

I went into the hospital as the fat, psychotic, stupid, and immature girl that I was, but came out of it a little less so.  How, you may ask?  Orange juice is my answer.  I ate the hospital food dutifully, but I drank the oj thinking that the drunk inside me might prefer this fruit drink to alcohol.  I imagined that all my acquaintances and friends from college would come visit me while I was in that confining place and instead of getting drunk, we would dine on orange juice.

Orange juice was just the start of my transformation from the fat, psychotic, stupid, and immature girl to a full-fledged Woman. 

When I got out of the loony bin, I started to experiment with food.  I began again with beans.  I roasted chickpeas and sauted black beans not because I knew that beans had been around for 20,000 years, but because I needed to feel good about what I put into my body and my soul. 

I was really attracted to a college guy I knew for a long time.  I remember when I got to his mother’s house the first time I “visited” him.  All his mother offered me was water and I readily gulped it down as I had traveled by train, subway, bus, foot, and car to get there.  I should have been expecting more out of her.  I was in love with her son so the least she could have done was give me a hug or at least to a handshake for my troubles. 

But I drank the water and the police came and took me back to the subway and I spent the night in a friend’s apartment who didn’t think I was a crazy person. 

So back to the chickpeas.  I ate them roasted all the time after the hospital until I could taste that protein and iron soaking into my fat ass. 

And then, oh then, I discovered that I could make the chickpea dish that would bring me back to sanity and beauty.  Yes, that would be hummus.  Let me tell the masses how one makes this delectable dish.  Garlic, by my clock, goes in first, just a couple cloves.  Then the amazing chickpeas follow and then the glue that makes the hummus transform from a messy concoction to an edible one:  tahini.  Tahini is ground sesame seeds and how Middle Easterners realized that this should be added we’ll probably never know.


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